Standing Out

I’m starting to worry that I’m not doing anything to make myself stand out.

I woke up on Saturday to that text from Sofia. She had sent it at six a.m. from an empty classroom in Kirksville as she prepared to spend the entire day studying.

To be clear, she is in her first year of medical school. It’s a fairly thin crowd. These are people who have spent most of their young lives studying and taking tests and volunteering and performing scientific research as they work their way through mental and emotional obstacles on their way to their chosen career which is also time-consuming and demanding. People don’t just wake up one day and decide they are going to medical school. It takes years of commitment.

It also takes grit. Internal motivation. Curiosity. Competitiveness. Delayed gratification. Those are the bare minimum required qualities.

I knew what Sofia meant though. We texted for a while. Until it felt like she was far enough off the ledge that she could refocus on today’s tasks.

It was a version of what we have been talking about for over twenty years. She used to stand at the window, two years old, watching the bright yellow bus go by and wishing she could go to school, wondering if she would ever be big enough.

It’s also a version of daily conversations with Kari’s seventeen-year-old triplets as they worry about how much money they will make after college. Or what their major should be. Or whether they should do yearbook, debate, soccer or relay for life. Or all of it.

It’s a version of what I tell Jackson. And Kari’s twenty-one year old son.

Worry about today. Study. Learn. Focus on one thing at a time. Notice the moment. Enjoy this day and this age. Your strength and health. Making friends. Falling in love. Embrace the feeling of being supported. Of having parents and mentors and teachers to guide you. And the freedom of making your own decisions and even some mistakes.

Adults don’t have to do things alone either. We collaborate and ask questions and look up things. We ask for help. It’s not as scary as it all sounds.

And if there is one thing you don’t have to worry about- it’s whether you stand out. You do. You are unique and wonderful and beautiful and loved. And I couldn’t be more proud of you.